Kvaughn Funny Shit!

  1. You are the type of person that makes me believe the world would have been better off if your mother had swallowed you.



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  2. When I die I want someone to keep updating my status,

    That way I can freak the hell outta people!



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  3. Say “Addicted” after every thing i say,

    Alcohol..drugs..smoking..

    What hit you in the mouth last night?..

    Addicted



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  4. If you rape a hooker..

    Is it considered rape or shop lifting?



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  5. I FIGURED IT OUT…Bella only likes Edward more cause he will go down on her even if it is that time of the month.



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  6. Humpty Dumpty sat on a poll, while playing with lil miss muffins hole, when he was done he smelt his thumb and was nearly sick by the smell of her come.



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  7. Ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper’s butt crack? If not, you’re wondering now.



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  8. Thinks you should try answering the phone saying

    “City Sperm Bank. You Squeeze them, We freeze them.”



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  9. shake n’ bake baby

    Shake n’ bake!!!

    WOO



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  10. I keep trying to call Ur phone, but the message keeps saying..” the caller Ur trying to reach is giving head.” please swallow i need to talk to you!



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  11. Did you ever wake up in the morning and want to smack someone for no current reason??



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  12. You know you have bad gas when your dog smells your butt gives you a dirty look and runs away.



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  13. Some people have no clue how close they are to a slap upside the head.



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  14. Someday I will make every woman happy by inventing the first vibrating tampon!



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  15. You know A facebook addict when

    Your house is on fire and you pause to post it on Facebook…



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