November 2010
22 posts
You are the type of person that makes me believe the world would have been better off if your mother had swallowed you.
When I die I want someone to keep updating my status,
That way I can freak the hell outta people!
Say “Addicted” after every thing i say,
Alcohol..drugs..smoking..
What hit you in the mouth last night?..
Addicted
If you rape a hooker..
Is it considered rape or shop lifting?
I FIGURED IT OUT…Bella only likes Edward more cause he will go down on her even if it is that time of the month.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a poll, while playing with lil miss muffins hole, when he was done he smelt his thumb and was nearly sick by the smell of her come.
Ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper’s butt crack? If not, you’re wondering now.
Thinks you should try answering the phone saying
“City Sperm Bank. You Squeeze them, We freeze them.”
shake n’ bake baby
Shake n’ bake!!!
WOO
I keep trying to call Ur phone, but the message keeps saying..” the caller Ur trying to reach is giving head.” please swallow i need to talk to you!
Did you ever wake up in the morning and want to smack someone for no current reason??
You know you have bad gas when your dog smells your butt gives you a dirty look and runs away.
Some people have no clue how close they are to a slap upside the head.
Someday I will make every woman happy by inventing the first vibrating tampon!
You know A facebook addict when
Your house is on fire and you pause to post it on Facebook…
Rejection is tough.
I heard that your hand fell asleep on you last night.
What do you call total rejection?
When your hand falls asleep.
Redneck word of the day: OBAMA
” I bought me a bag of stash and smoked it Obama self”
Q: Do doggies ever do it people-style?
A: Yes I have 2 pitbulls and thats the only way they do it.
If I pee on my iPhone will it tell me if I’m pregnant? There’s gotta be an app for that!
Thinking of stalking my stalker just to shake things up a bit.
A teacher asks an Alabama redneck girl to use “handsome” in a sentence. she says, “When I’m giving head and my jaw gets sore I use my handsome.”